Are there more tops or bottoms in the gay community

While studies and surveys often show a relatively even split, the most accurate answer is that a majority of gay men identify as versatile, meaning they enjoy being both a top and a bottom. In reality, human sexuality is often much more dynamic, and understanding this can be a key part of self-discovery.

Can Your Preference for a Sexual Role Actually Change?

Yes, it's entirely possible for someone's preference for a sexual role to shift over time.

Bottoms respond most intensely to humor (42%) while Tops are drawn to confidence (27%), and Vers men prioritize emotional connection and playfulness in nearly equal measure (23% and 35%). 

Taken together, the data reveals a community that isn’t divided by roles so much as animated by them: Tops radiating certainty, Bottoms craving emotional warmth, and Vers men modeling a more fluid, customizable approach to sex. 

Far from reinforcing clichés, these differences suggest that gay men are rewriting their erotic identities in real time — with more nuance, confidence, and complexity than ever before.

Roles Are Important, But Not Identity-Defining

When asked whether their sexual role feels like part of their identity, the responses were strikingly balanced.

• 23% say yes, it’s central to who they are
• 38% say it’s somewhat part of them
• 39% say it’s simply something they do, not who they are

This ambivalence reflects a generational shift: roles matter because they shape experience, not because they define personality.

He introduces various types of bottoms, including the 'power bottom' who takes control, the 'submissive bottom' who prefers to please, 'kinky bottoms' with a taste for unconventional play, the 'money bottom' known for vocal expressions, and the 'verse bottom' who enjoys both roles. Foreplay is overwhelmingly central: only 6% say they spend less than five minutes easing into sex, while the vast majority fall into the 5–15 minute range (38%) or the 15–30 minute range (31%), with another 12% taking more than half an hour.

But it shouldn’t take this much research to figure out that tops want to have sex with bottoms—that’s like saying carnivores enjoy eating meat. That’s as likely as an answer, and I think there is more evidence [for it].”

So our stereotypes beget behavior that begets identity that begets behavior that begets stereotypes.

It reflects a flexibility in sexual preference, moving beyond rigid classifications and embracing a fuller range of experiences.

Do masculinity stereotypes influence whether someone identifies as a top or bottom?

Historically, some harmful masculinity stereotypes have inaccurately linked the "top" role with perceived masculine traits and the "bottom" role with femininity.

Hey, and if you’re getting close enough to a guy where it’s really going to matter, you might have to figure it out the old fashioned way: Ask.

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