Christian gay marriage

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The state doesn’t determine what defines marriage; it only recognizes marriage and privileges it in certain ways. Every reference to marriage in the Bible indicates a union of male and female. But these relationships—no matter how special—have not been given the designation “marriage” by the church or by the state.

This article is adapted from What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung.

Kevin DeYoung (PhD, University of Leicester) is the senior pastor at Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina, and associate professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary, Charlotte.

After all, we don’t have laws against gossip or adultery or the worship of false gods.

What Should Christians Think about Same-Sex Marriage?

Why This Issue Matters

I’m a pastor. While the world may accept gay marriage, Christians are called to stand on God’s truth, not cultural reasoning (1 Corinthians 1:18-20).

The “natural” purpose of sexual intercourse is procreation, and only a sexual relationship between a man and a woman can fulfill this purpose. I don’t doubt that for most same-sex couples the longing for marriage is sincere, heartfelt, and without a desire to harm anyone else’s marriage. Read up on the issues. And yet, same-sex unions cannot be accepted as marriage without devaluing all marriages, because the only way to embrace same-sex partnerships as marriage is by changing what marriage means altogether.

Enough Is Enough?

So why not call a truce on the culture war and let the world define marriage its way and the church define marriage its way?

You may think to yourself, maybe if Christians were more tolerant of other definitions of marriage, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

It assumes the indistinguishability of gender in parenting, the relative unimportance of procreation in marriage, and the near infinite flexibility as to what sorts of structures and habits lead to human flourishing.³

But What about Equal Rights?

How can I say another human being doesn’t have the same right I have to get married?

But to equate the previous sentence with a right to same-sex marriage begs the question. What’s the big deal about marriage? Instead of being driven by outrage or fear, our actions must be motivated by the desire to lead others into a saving relationship with Jesus. See Katy Faust’s striking article, “Dear Justice Kennedy: An Open Letter from the Child of a Loving Gay Parent,” in which she maintains that she is “one of many children with gay parents who believe we should protect marriage” because “the government’s interest in marriage is about the children that only male-female relationships can produce.” Public Discourse, February 2, 2015, www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/02/14370.

Why not let people have whatever relationships they choose and call them whatever they want? Don’t buy every slogan and don’t own every insult. If Christians lose the cultural debate on homosexuality, we will lose much more than we think. Under the new morality, marriage is oriented to the emotional bond of the couple. You can live with your sister, your mother, your grandfather, your dog, or three buddies from work.

See Maggie Gallagher, “(How) Does Marriage Protect Child Well-Being?” in The Meaning of Marriage: Family, State, Market, and Morals, eds. Jesus modeled a posture of compassion and healing—kneeling beside the broken, calling them to wholeness, and saying, “Go and sin no more” (John 8:11). Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?” Although the world will tell us that “love is love,” and it reasons that "If two people love each other, they should be allowed to show it, " Christians need to allow God’s Word shape our stance on gay marriage.

Same-sex marriage is a distortion of the biblical model and is not honored by God as true marriage.

Gay marriage, therefore, may be accepted by the government but is not a valid marriage in God’s eyes.

Romans 1:26-27 describes same-sex relations as contrary to God's created order, calling them “dishonorable passions.” Since same-sex relations are a sin, gay marriage is a sin as well.

First Corinthians 1:18-20 helps us navigate where we as Christians should stand on gay marriage: “For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

For it is written, 'I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.' Where is the one who is wise? The church is sometimes the most vibrant, the most articulate, and the most holy when the world presses down on her the hardest.

But not always—sometimes when the world wants to press us into its mold, we jump right in and get comfy.