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Bad mormon heather gay

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Basically, perfect keeping up with the Jone’s life was catching up to Heather and she just wanted out of her marriage, released from a big heavy calling, felt a little trapped and wanted to party and hang out with her people. Gay's narrative is by turns cheeky ("In the name of the Father, the Son, and Andy Cohen") and reflective ("There is real sorrow for the lost years and a general heaviness that weighs on my heart when I think of the past"), and even when discussing her struggles, she writes with self-deprecating humor.



I had a whole other paragraph here but it got too personal so I will just end with; I truly respect other’s beliefs and decisions, am happy for other people’s happiness and the importance of their faith to them but the LDS church (and other organized religions) is not for everyone. That’s my take. I mean look at me, I am saying “Mormon.” Oops and btw, this is literally one of the most ridiculous changes the church has ever made.

The Strict Binary World of Mormonism and Early Disobedience

From the time I was born, I’d been indoctrinated to think in terms of binaries. Nothing of consequence.

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Now, no reason to read on unless you are interested in my unique perspective about Heather Gay, the LDS Church in relation to this memoir and living on the edge for most of my life.

Choosing to live openly as a "Bad Mormon" was not a rejection of her heritage but an embrace of her true self, finding freedom and belonging by letting go of the need to conform and instead walking her own path.

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It represented a failure of the "Plan of Happiness" and a deviation from the expected path of eternal marriage.

bad mormon heather gay

The temple was presented as a sacred, beautiful place, but its ceremonies, clothing (like the green aprons and robes), and oaths were kept strictly secret, even from family members who had been through them.

The endowment ceremony. The temple endowment involved symbolic washings and anointings, putting on sacred garments and robes, watching a film reenacting the creation story and Adam and Eve's fall, participating in a prayer circle with specific hand gestures, and going through a veil with secret handshakes and passwords to symbolically enter God's presence.

This upbringing instilled a belief that Mormons "had it figured out," possessing the answers to life's big questions and a duty to share their "plan of happiness" with others.

Early lessons. The author learned the importance of rules and boundaries, often framed as protection rather than restriction.

Side note, one of my Jewish friends asked about this, recently, and said, "Saying the new terminology is a mouth full and it's not like non-members are calling members a 'kike.” I smiled at that. The author found it necessary to create a "Glinda bubble" of protection, shutting off parts of herself like social anxiety and empathy to cope with the constant rejection and challenges of proselytizing.

Obedience and performance. Missionary work emphasized 100% obedience and a focus on outward performance, such as knocking on doors ("sonner, sonner, sonner") and following prescribed teaching methods (like the "one-minute rule" of kneeling in prayer immediately).

Experiences like witnessing a fellow missionary's breakdown over the perceived damnation of the people or the author's own moments of doubt and exhaustion revealed the emotional toll of maintaining a facade of unwavering faith and happiness while suppressing personal feelings and questions.

5. It truly tells the story about the authors life and the experiences that Heather Gay has lived through.

Honest and insightful

This is a great window into the world of the church and how much we don’t know about the lives of others.

A must if you WATCH RHOSLC

Gives such a good understanding of Heather and her crisis of faith, departure from the church, and why she has had a crisis of identity when being Mormon is not just a faith but seen as a culture.



I don’t relate to much of Heather’s upper crust and sometimes bizarre existence other than all the usual Mormon everyday experiences and Heather’s personal realizations about some of her misgivings about her faith but I did love that bit when she wrote she was glad to make friends with people who do not have an agenda.

Sundays were strictly family and church days, reinforcing the community's distinctness. Experiences like being locked outside her backyard gate after venturing into forbidden territory reinforced the idea that staying within prescribed limits was for her safety and well-being, a metaphor for the perceived dangers outside the church.

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Yeah, the temple is definitely off limits Heather. Embracing Flaws and Finding Belonging in Unconventional Spaces

I could be myself, unequivocally, without obligation to represent the church, my family, or my dwindling faith.

Authenticity over perfection. The casting process for The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City became a pivotal moment, offering a platform to be her authentic self, flaws and all.

Somehow, many Mormons have no idea how to treat people who don’t do as they do. 🙈

I am not really going to delve deep here but I don’t really respect Heather Gay all that much. I am with Gordon B. Hinkley on this one who did, yes, tell Rusty to check himself back in 1990. Whether as a businesswoman, mother, or television personality, she is unafraid to blaze a new trail, even if it means losing family, friends, and her community.

Born and bred to be devout, Heather based her life around her faith.

She attended Brigham Young University, served a mission in France, and married into Mormon royalty in the temple. Her youth was not marred by abuse, negativity and trauma because of the church, in fact, it seemed like it truly enriched Heather’s life, as it does for many, and it really seems like she is, in all honesty, a TBM and probably still is somewhere in there.